no, let’s dance

do we ever really know the journey before one takes it, and if they did would they have taken it sooner…… i can’t explain really what i’m feeling now, there’s an excitement and joy i’ve never had or felt before….. i can’t explain why, the cause is really confusing, but the results i love…..
“no, let’s dance”

it seemed like a lifetime ago,
yes, my path was through a forest
a forest with dead trees,
it was dark and so lonely
pain and frustration were my companions
and i left a trail of tears…
i questioned why i took this road,
surely there were other’s i could of taken
but i had to walk this path
the choice is not our’s.

you watched me walk,
hugged me and told me to go on,
you did,
there would be an end
you promised.
i lost the path often
i could not see
i could not see for the tears were too many
and i wandered
the forest was lifeless
the forest was endless

i cried
“i ‘m doing all you told me to”
HRT, electrolysis
i went part-time to full-time
and i still knew not who i was
therapy and group
and even surgery i planned,
i read what i could
i hated what i was,
i wanted “his” past
but i didn’t want to be him..
i was lost
and yes i cried

was this all a dream i ask?
i sit in this meadow
fireweed paints my vision
and there are butterflies
and beautiful dragonflies
and the raven cries out in joy
and i want to dance
never stop dancing…
i love my smile
and this excitement
an excitement i never felt,
and yes
yes is it true i’m in love
all young girls are…
yet i ask
is it because of this new born essence
an essence that fills my soul…
and then i find
no longer hidden
my path
and a rainbow…
hold my hand
we can skip
we can run and laugh
no let’s dance
tess julianna 7/21/17



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